We painted a masterpiece with more than words.

It's 9:17 pm.

It's freezing cold.

Everyone's asleep except for me (yes, people around here sleep really early)

.. and I'm still racking my brains for anything sensible to type.

Maybe it'll help me if I travel along memory lane.. (mind you, all the following events are from MY point of view so any violent reactions will be welcomed by my flying kick..haha. uyyyyyy. si meg nagpapatawa. :D )

Encoding of Courses. Oh, how surprised I was when I found out that I won't be having any CS classes like my other friends.. we had HUM014 instead.

First day of HUM classes. Yey. Finally a subject where I thought there would be no pressure for me. No numbers, no formulas, no math. haha. :)

Hap (Abie), Dom and I entered the room together. I saw my classmates for the first time. Aside from Dom and Hap, i already knew Lara, Justin, Meri, Lee Mark, Banog and Noel. It kind of helped that I already know quite a handful of people. And then our professor came. Every time she speaks, she never fails to amuse me- especially when she speaks in Filipino. And of course, the time came when she asked everyone to introduce themselves and say their favorite book.

One by one, everyone told the class their names and what books they read. I wasn't really listening anymore because I was doodling on the back of my notebook. (no offense ma'am, I do this in every class) Every once in a while, my attention would be called by my classmates who tell the class they haven't finished any book, or that their favorite reading materials are men's magazines.

My turn came. If there was something I was particularly ashamed of during my first week in Hum class, it would be this moment- when I blabbed about my fascination of books. You all know the story too well, right? "My Lola giving us encyclopedias, etc, etc".

I saw the looks on my classmates faces. I could just imagine what they were thinking. ahahaha.

Classmate 1: grabe naman tong si klasmeyt, kya pla lumalabo mata eh.
Classmate 2: nanonood pa ba yan ng tv?
Classmate 3: oooh. geek.

But.. it was fun. :) To be able to share to people what you like doing, is like showing the world who you really are. Time passed so quickly, it felt like a blur.

Still, the times I spent with this class are worth remembering.

Discussions and Recitations. To my classmates, I read your blogs and I am really flattered every time you mention that my answers make you say wow. To my fans (LOL), Dom and Hap, thank you for drawing on your handouts just to make a pretend banner for me. haha. I love you two.:D
I love listening to my classmates share a piece of their minds, it lets the whole class know a little more about each other. :) And to Ma'am Eduarte, you really exert a lot of effort just so we can understand these readings easier.. before, I disliked Filipino authors, thinking that all they make are just substandard mushy love stories.. now, I am proud to say that I have become one of Sionil's and Zafra's biggest fans.

Tanaga Making. I love this part.:) Banog ang Jordan made such beautiful tanagas. Just shows how much hidden potential you have. I really commend Ma'am for pushing through with the ribbon cutting and for making it a success even after numerous delays. thumbs up!

Play. This is one play I would never forget. Because of this activity, I was able to gain more frends and become even closer with my classmates.:D

Lara- the mistress. You awe me with your acting skills. You were very, very convincing. See how the audience winced after the play?:)) Sobrang natakot sila. woooooh. Lara, thank you for always holding on to my arm every time we pray..haha.:p it always makes my day.:)

Lea- Rosa! Rosa! you did a job well done. I never knew you before this course, now I'm really glad we became friends. :) you always work behind the scenes, but now, look at you! :) budding actress in the making..haha.. although I'd pity you when Lara slaps you multiple times. aww. :D

Edward- kochero/ kutsara. haha. thank you for letting us pirate you from ate ezra's group.:) great job on the "woah!".. actor in the making rin like Lea.:D

Jordan and Alex- the horses.:) wee. joke lang. thanks for walking a far distance to buy wire for our play.:D without you two, the play would be a disaster.:) and..oi, alex, antagonist ka. ahahahaha.

Kim and Jeshca- the quitest in the bunch. si Jeshca minsan lng.:D thank you both for the support! si Jeshca lalo, during the play, super helpful and supportive.:D

Hap and Dom- yes, I mentioned you last because you two are one of my closest friends in school.:) i love you both khit inaaway niu ako lagi.:) next time i write a play, i'll put more slapping scenes for dom!bwahahahahahahahahahaha.:D and i'll put more scenes na may stores.. and hap would always be the store owner!:D

To the Justice League group, you are really funny.:D you deserve the award.:)
To Ate Ezhra's group with Jolo and Meriz, Deymn! congrats too!:)

And to the members of our Mr. Right fansclub (as dubbed by Lara), you know who you are.:) we shall continue the fight! (what fight?)hahahahaha.:D may the best fan win.:D

To Ma'am Eduarte, thank soooooooooooooooooo much for giving us one fun term. If it wasn't because of your great dedication to your work and compassion for your students, none of these would be possible.:D if, given a chance to repeat this course again with my classmates and with you as our teacher, I would gladly do it again. (but please, don't fail us. hahha :D )

To MCL- for putting up this course. Helped me a lot in getting over with my Chemistry woes.

and of course.. to God.:D it wasn't a coincidence that he put all of us together. It was part of his great plan. :)

I think I've already said too much.

It's 10:33 pm.

It's freezing cold.

Everyone's asleep except for me (yes, people around here sleep really early)

.. and I'm still racking my brains for anything sensible to type.

I'll miss you guys.

See you soon.:)

Yesterday is not your Friend. Tomorrow is.

Santos, Meg Anne G.

Prof. Joahna T. Eduarte

Humanities 014

8 September 2009

F. Sionil Jose’s The Pretenders: Yesterday is not your Friend. Tomorrow is.

This paper delves on the possible reason behind Antonio Samson’s iron-like grip with his past and how this is related to his eventual suicide.

“I am the last of the long procession of days, streaming behind you, away from you, pouring into mist and obscurity, and at last into the oblivion.

We fill your soul’s cellar.

I depart from you, yet I am ever with you.

I am one of the leaves of the growing book. There are many pages before me. Some day you shall turn us all over and read us and know what you are.

I am pale, for I have no hope. Only memories.”

The last words of Marie Antoinette to her son, before she was led away to guillotine were: “Do not seek to avenge my death; do not seek to rule over the wolves who have destroyed your mother and father; be kind, be good, be brave; but above all be- forget!”

There are undoubtedly numerous advantages in forgetfulness. If we could forget, the sting and the swelling would not remain; the whole matter would be uprooted, as if nothing had ever happened. If forgetting could spare you from so much, then why does Antonio Samson still refuse to let go of his past?

In our search for answers, first let us examine the relevance of Antonio’s past to his moral development. For this paper, two of Antonio Samson’s family members will be put into consideration.

1.Eustaquio Samson a.k.a the grandfather. His only link to his roots. “..he felt a kinship at last, tangible and alive, with this thing called the past. It was this solid memento that mattered, because it was the root on which he stood.” (Jose, p.114)

Here, we see, in Tony’s on words, how important his grandfather was to him. The root on which he stood- this was how he perceived his grandfather- a base on which he stands, someone who he was able to connect to. Eustaquio was a man whom Tony does not feel estranged. He viewed Eustaquio’s philosophies as his own.

2.Antonio Samson’s father. To whom do we owe the pleasure of Antonio Samson’s existence? To his father of course! Tony’s immediate upbringing was because of his father’s nurturing, although his father was not always there most of Tony’s life, his father, played a major role during Tony’s childhood.

It was during Tony’s childhood that he was first exposed to the difference between the social classes and the grudge that his father harbors for the rich. “..he, too, understood the tortured emotions that had propelled his father to anger and violence. Only then, too, were all his suspicions about his father’s incapacity for warmth and understanding dispelled.” (Jose, p.11)

Without the experiences of this people, and their experiences in the past, Antonio Samson would not have existed as he was.

Self-deception is the starting point of moral decay. Lying to yourself is sure to mean inward deformity, the germ-laden fleck that spreads the disease throughout your whole character. It is the easiest, commonest and most subtle of sins.

Antonio Samson, although he was enlightened because of his discovery and newly-discovered link with this past, still was not able to cure himself of the disease brought upon by the incessant corruption and greed he has been exposed to.

Each of us has his burden, of triumph, of defeat, of laughter, of bitterness; we bear our load into forgetfulness; yet as we go, we each lead something into our sub consciousness. Yet, Antonio Samson was not a man who forgets. Probably the regrets of his past and the uncertainties of his future were too much of a weight for him to bear.

His only escape or answer to this dilemma- to die at the hand of a vehicle that he so wishes to ride in order to go home.

“ I am rich for, for I have wisdom.

You do not love my voice. It does not speak to your desires; it is cool and even full of prudence.

I am Yesterday; yet I am the same as Today and Forever; for I AM YOU; and you cannot escape from yourself.

I am Yesterday. Learn to look me in the face, to use me, and not to be afraid of me.

I am not your friend. I am your judge-and your fear.

Tomorrow is your friend." (Yesterday, Dr. Crane)

Works Cited:

Jose, F. Sionil.(1962) The Pretenders. Solidaridad Publishing House, 531 Padre Faura, Ermita, Manila Philippines

Crane, Frank M.D. (1919) Four Minute Essays. Wm. H. Wise and Co., Inc., New York, United States of America

some side comments from me.. on a related note.:)

the book by dr. frank crane is actually the oldest book that i own. :) it's 90 years old.. it's a 7 volume book collection given to me by my grand mother, who received this book from my great grand father. haha. just felt like sharing this.